Why I was a bitch

I have all these things that I want to say but I'm not sure anyone is interested. So, continuing from my last post. I went out with this boy in high school in Texas. He was the quarterback on his football team. I was a freshman. Need I say more?? I went from being a nobody to total coolness just like that. Then, he graduated from high school and that summer my family moved to Florida. He came with us to help us move. I was 15 with raging hormones and a boyfriend who would be gone in a week. We spent hours making out, groping each other. He so wanted to be my first. So many times at the last minute I said no no, we can't . He begged and I still said no. Well, he left without us ever having sex and we stayed together long distance for a couple of months. He joined the Marines and I sent him a dear John letter a month after I started high school down here. Too many cute guys and he was just too far away. I didn't realize how devastating a letter like that was to him being so far from his family and friends. I just had the hots for a new guy and that's all I was thinking about. Turns out, I had terrible judgement on that guy . I chased after him for a couple of months till he finally invited me over to his house where he basically coerced me into having sex with him and we never spoke again. I left his house that night and went to a pep rally at school. This guy in my english class pulled up to me in his car after the pep rally to say something and I just leaned in the window and kissed him. He was so shocked. He was the cool guy on campus and I just so desperately needed to feel wanted that night. Probably another mistake. He's another story. But anyhow, I should have had sex with my first boyfriend who really loved me and made me feel good instead of holding out and getting date raped by some scumbag who didn't care about me at all.Of course, he did eventually get his ass kicked .